Just say no

... to low cost snake skin.

Admittedly, I'm a little inconsistent in my shopping. I can come up with all kinds of excuses to splurge on some things, while other things I can't be convinced to spend more than a couple of pennies ... even if most people would find it perfectly logical to do so.

Nylons fall into category two. Hence the reason I went 'all out', buying some 6 pairs when I saw the generic brand on sale for 3 bucks a pop at the grocery store last week (for the record, that IS a bargain in Geneva, where usually they'd go for three or four times that ...). I've learned my lesson. Next time I'm shelling out the big bucks.

Who knew there are different "quality categories" of nylons?? Gave pair No. 1 the test run today and ... FAIL. With a big fat capital "F".

Migros, you may advertise your nylons to have "comfortable elasticity and reinforced toes," but let me tell you, your product testers must have been paid off to lie, cuz' these suckers don't have any elastic AT ALL. In fact, my legs were moving around in them all day.

I may not be an expert on the subject, but I can pretty much imagine that if I ever shed my skin like a snake, it would be a very deja vu experience.

What was I thinking?

Call it a genetic flaw, but I was, am and probably always will be known for having uncanny champagne taste. Not the kind where you buy expensive things because they're expensive and thus somehow seem enticing, but rather the kind where you have no idea what the price tags are and yet will inevitably, without fail, fall in love with the most expensive one.

(Acutally, come to think of it, the title What was I thinking? could very easily become a weekly feature of this blog in one way or another, but for today's edition ... )

WOman receives sample size bottle (read a full two squirts) of Biotherm Aqua Source Non-Stop Oligo-Thermal Gel Intense Moisturization Gel (whatever all that's supposed to mean ...) months ago as "gift" with her one regular personal hygiene splurge (note, even that one is *only* $30 a bottle), falls in love with the stuff, thinks she'll look into buying some as a little congratulatory bonus come first pay check in July.

WOman and manfriend investigate prices weeks back and are totally, entirely put off of the idea of buying some even as a congratulatory bonus after seeing that the stuff costs $70.

WOman is in store today to buy nothing but A $2 PEN, but thinks, "hmm, maybe I'll just stop by and see how much the stuff costs here" - with absolutely no intention to even consider buying it.

WOman tries to play cool with the saleslady, internally rehearsing the line, "Mmm, very nice. And how much is it. Mmm. I'm running late for an appointment tonight, but I'll be back tomorrow to look some more" (ahem. NOT.)

But then the dang saleslady has to go and say that the price is *only* $50 and suddenly the bells are all ringing in my head .... $50 bucks?!?! THIS IS SUCH A STEAL!!!!

All internal rehearsals blown to the wind, what do I do? Buy the stuff, of course ... only to walk out the door and back into reality three minutes later ... DID I REALLY JUST PAY $50 bucks for some (admittedly amazing) gel stuff to slather all over my face???

Then again, they DID throw in a free (?!) beach towel as a "gift" and, well, heaven knows those things usually cost at least $20. All things considered, maybe I only really paid $30 then ...... right?? Let's just hope this stuff is as great as I think it is a month from now when I'm eating nothing but rice until payday ...

Dear filthy rich people ...

To the summer Geneva visitor population who has taken over the city with fancier luxury cars than I have seen in my entire life ....

To the drivers of these disgustingly fancy luxury cars (driven, or more likely shipped, from their happy garage homes in the Middle East) who park them (or have them valet parked) ten in a row in front of every Starbucks in town ...

And, especially to the woman who purchased five twenty swiss franc shirts at H&M with a freakin' 500 EURO BILL (about $760) ...

Do you really have to drip your riches in front the noses of us "poor" folk??? Honestly now, Starbucks may be a bit of a luxury even in this town what with a latte putting you out about 12 bucks, but H&M? Come on, leave us alone!

If there is one single place in town where you might be able to prevent price-depression around here, it's H&M ... it's rough enough walking down the street in your proud H&M wear and realising all the other student/intern types are wearing exactly the same diggs, but having you come in and getting five hundred dollars back in freakin' change is quite enough. I might have a different opinion if you offered to, say, sponsor a shirt for each of us while you were at it, but seeing as it clearly did not even cross your mind, please kindly remove your fancy-schmancy cars from sight, at least pretend you don't have quite so much extra money to burn by paying with something a little more normal like, say, twenty dollar bills, and remember, it's not exactly normal to have chauffeurs, servants and nannies as everyday escorts!

The near-mortal sin you never knew you committed

Grocery stores - or shopping in general - in Switzerland could really provide enough fodder for several lively (if not to say ranting) blog entries, but in an effort to stay focused here, I'm going to comment on what it perhaps my biggest Swiss pet peeve ... the near-mortal sin you never knew you committed ... failing to put the separator bar down between your purchases and those of the person behind you on the check-out lane conveyor belt. Heaven forbid.

Shopping hours in Switzerland are quite limited, with stores closing in Geneva at 19h every day except for the famed, beloved and much appreciated "late night shopping Thursdays" (open until 19.30!! Ooh Aah! or occasionally 21h for stores other than groceries...) and Sundays, when, of course, everything is closed all together. For those of us who are therefore left with no other alternative than to shop on the hellishly busy Saturday mornings, even getting to the checkout in one piece is a triumph, let alone getting there with a smile on your face.

So you get there, start loading your five necessity items that will inevitably put you out 60 buckaroos, and allow your mind to momentarily drift as you think about what order will allow you to do your other must-do-Saturday-because-my-schedule-never-matches-the-Swiss-store-hours-schedule errands and, GASP! you do not put down the separator bar behind your things!!! Meanwhile the person behind you has left three feet of empty space on the conveyor belt before s/he begins placing her/his things down, and yet still begins the following ritual:

1. loudly clears throat


2. moves up real close to you, poking a knife into your personal bubble


3. makes a point to roughly brush against you as s/he huffily reaches for separator bar that is just as easily reached by him/her as it is by you


4. heavily sets the bar in the mile-wide gap, making sure that it makes audible noise upon touch-down


5. you, unknowing committer of a near-mortal sin, turn and give you-are-absolutely-ridiculous courtesy smile


6. s/he returns icy if-looks-could-kill glare and mutters something about people being so rude and uneducated these days


7. check-out woman pretends as if she's seen nothing, when really, she's seen it all one hundred times before

The whole process is actually quite entertaining, really. And while I use the busy Saturdays as an example, in fact, it doesn't matter when it is ... you can just as easily witness the same phenomenon at 2.30 in the afternoon on a Tuesday ... when no one is buying more than one or two items each ... and there is absolutely NO line of people waiting to checkout.

As I'm now rapidly approaching my one year anniversary of moving to Geneva, I learned this essential cultural nuance loooonnnng ago, however, Geneva sees an endless sea of visitors and non-Swiss newbies that ensure that these fine shows of grown-up temper tantrums continue to proliferate. Then again, maybe they're not visitors or newbies at all ... maybe they're just people like me who think shoppers need to just get over it and thus selectively "forget" (i.e. refuse) to put the bar down just to make sure no one loses their knack for giving killing glares in a country that is otherwise the epitome of politeness.