Master of the eyebrow raise

If I may be forgiven for saying so, the vast majority of Rwandans we met along the way were not your most outwardly cheery, openly friendly bunch. Curious, yes. Initially very serious, yes. Smiley, no.

It should be said that this heinously overgeneralized statement of observation does not, for the most part, include kids, who showed no fear, chasing us down the street screaming "MUSUNGU!! MUSUNGU!!" (White people, white people!), or "Bon joour!" or "Teacher!!" I have to give them credit for entirely cornering me between the brick walls of the church as well, until I finally figured out that I might be able to make my escape if I were sure to shake every single child's hand, greeting them individually (such are the importance of greetings in Rwanda ...)

But the adults, now that's another story. When I commented as much to our host, he responded only that many of them had "seen far too much suffering in their lives; it's all they can do now to put one foot in front of the other, let alone be especially friendly to every person they pass".

Not having been instructed in the propers of Rwandan greetings, however, I struggled painfully to observe those around us. Far more intricate than a simple, firm American right-handed handshake, Spanish two cheek kisses or even Swiss three cheek kisses, I thought I finally figured out that you have several options in Rwanda.

First, you have what I will somewhat insensitively call the "head banger". This involves: first knocking heads (not cheeks!) together on the right side, then left, then right again, followed by a good solid right hand slap-shake (imagine high-five captured mid-swing into handshake).

Or you could go with the "triple pat": Extend arms towards person to be greeted, pat three times just above elbows, then proceed into right hand slap-shake, as described above.

Or you could go quite simply with the right hand slap-shake, omitting all of the above described.

Problem was, there seemed to be some unwritten protocol to knowing when to use each method - and I never quite deciphered the code. But then, I had a moment of enlightenment.

Observing those around me, I discovered the eyebrow raise. No, it wasn't just a fleeting vision, I suddenly realized that the secret to getting the somber faces I met along the road to smile in greeting was all in the eyebrows. There is a technique to be had, for sure, requiring a quick eyebrow raise (including whole forehead, if possible), together with a slight head tip-back. I stood in the bathroom practising this technique for a bit, then took it to the streets.

As if by magic, people's eyebrows were greeting me back! A twinkle would appear in their eyes and, nine times out of ten, a friendly smile and hand wave (think the "how" sign/hand raise). If ever there were a break through in cultural barriers, this was it.

I, am Master of the Eyebrow Raise.

Only problem now is to get myself out of the habit of doing it around Geneva. Got an eyebrow raise back in return along the road to work this morning, but somehow it just wasn't quite the "right" kind of eyebrow raise I was looking for ...