Dear Mother Nature:
Approximately three days ago, I received in good order your annual gift of seasonal allergies. While your tremendous generosity in this area is indeed most kind, please be informed that, as a result, the following consequences may be observed:
1. Yours truly is now constantly being mistaken for being a blubbering cry baby. Or, depending on the individual observing my blood shot eyes at any given moment, for being a drug addy.
2. Due to my nose-turned-water-faucet, the office administration is now complaining of increased consumable (i.e. toilet paper-turned-tissue) costs. Never a good thing in the midst of "economic crisis".
3. The World Health Organisation, conveniently located just across the street, is now approximately two days away from placing me on the potential Swine flu quarantine blacklist, thanks to my incessant, herculean sneezing.
4. Otherwise dangerously tempting picnics amid acres of flowers and "old world European fields" on "flower island" forcibly end in sterilised picnics atop perfectly painted white benches placed smack dab in the centre of tourist alley.
Given this unfortunate (and annually recurring) chain of events, I may soon be submitting myself to a good dose of anti-allergenic acupuncture in your honour. If, however, you find yourself so inclined to reclaim your generous allergy endowment in the meantime, please do feel free to go right on ahead.
Yours faithfully,
AR
1. Yours truly is now constantly being mistaken for being a blubbering cry baby. Or, depending on the individual observing my blood shot eyes at any given moment, for being a drug addy.
2. Due to my nose-turned-water-faucet, the office administration is now complaining of increased consumable (i.e. toilet paper-turned-tissue) costs. Never a good thing in the midst of "economic crisis".
3. The World Health Organisation, conveniently located just across the street, is now approximately two days away from placing me on the potential Swine flu quarantine blacklist, thanks to my incessant, herculean sneezing.
4. Otherwise dangerously tempting picnics amid acres of flowers and "old world European fields" on "flower island" forcibly end in sterilised picnics atop perfectly painted white benches placed smack dab in the centre of tourist alley.
Given this unfortunate (and annually recurring) chain of events, I may soon be submitting myself to a good dose of anti-allergenic acupuncture in your honour. If, however, you find yourself so inclined to reclaim your generous allergy endowment in the meantime, please do feel free to go right on ahead.
Yours faithfully,
AR
1 comments:
Bah! The curse of the seasonal allergies - you poor, poor soul. When I was preggo with the bambino I was fortunate to not receive such a kind gift from Mother Nature. Now I still don't get the runny nose or blood shot eyes but I still get hives every-so-often. It's a "feel good" gift from the Lady herself.
P.S. Thanks for the well wishes. Here's hoping that I don't botch the next post (I went Gonzo on it) and find a way to increase those clicks.
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