Competitive edge

You know how it goes. You hit the gym at the same time every day, and you are always amid the same familiar (though nameless) gym buddies. Though a word is rarely ever spoken between you, you know their gym routine, the colors of each of their five workout outfits, what TV channel they watch ... and whether or not they 'remember' to disinfect the machine behind them.

Take, for example, Miss Elliptical. She's ridiculously pretty, seemingly super friendly, dedicated to her gym routines and always perfectly put together. (Yes, I'm slightly jealous). Miss Elliptical does the elliptical, stair stepper and weight machines. Miss Elliptical does not use the treadmill.

So imagine my surprise today when I walk in and find her sprinting away on the one next to mine. Miss Elliptical on the treadmill? You have got to be kidding.

I've learned to keep my competitive edge in check these days, mostly because I can generally laugh in the face of the speedsters who race all out and are spent after the first 10 minutes. But Miss Elliptical didn't quit after 10 minutes, she kept sprinting away.

I tried to pretend that I didn't care. Never mind that I painfully forgot my ipod and had nothing better to do for 5 endlessly boring miles than try to sneak inconspicuous peeks at her odometer. I was cool, I was carefree, I was minding my own. Or not. All I could think about was how cute Miss Elliptical was kicking my butt.

Fast forward an hour, and I suddenly look up from my locker to hear Miss Elliptical asking if I speak English. Great, I'm thinking, she's not only just kicked my butt, now she's surely going to give me pointers on how to sweat less and smell like roses.

Miss Elliptical: "I was just wondering, do you run marathons or something? I was hoping you might be able to give me some pointers. I'm not a runner at all, but I have a bet with my family to finish my first half marathon, and I don't have a clue what I'm doing ..."

I almost burst out laughing. Me give the woman pointers? And all this time I thought she was the pro. (Come to find out, the front desk had helpfully suggested that "the best way to train is to run as fast as you can for as long as you can".) Talk about competitive edge.

Following a big slice of humble pie, Miss Elliptical and I are now on a whole new level of gym buddies now--we exchanged names.